Square Wheels

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

Square wheels. 

Seems like a contradiction in terms, doesn't it? 

Is it possible for a vehicle to run on square wheels? 

The Mythbusters tried it out with little success. It was a very bumpy ride and the wheels disintegrated along the way. The truck couldn't pick up much speed and it didn't go very far either.

Maybe you’re trying to go through life on square wheels, and are wondering why things aren't working out for you. You have goals and ambitions, but somehow they remain out of reach. You can’t seem to pick up speed and in some areas things are starting to fall apart along the way. Your life is one continuous bumpy ride.

In my previous post I introduced the concept of Life Areas.

The ‘Wheel of Life’ is one of the basic tools that I use as a coach to help my clients evaluate their lives.

This is a very simple yet powerful tool to help you identify the areas of your life that you have neglected and need to prioritize more in future. It helps you think about where you are now and where you want to be in the future.

Give yourself a score of 0 to 10 depending on how satisfied you currently are in relation to each area on the wheel. 0 is pretty much as unhappy as you can be, whereas 10 is the perfect score. Take the centre of the wheel as 0 and the outer edge as 10. As you score each area, it is vital to be honest so that you can identify the areas for change and set goals to improve the key areas of your life.

I have left two blanks in the wheel for you to fill in any other categories that may be more relevant to your life.

When you have scored all areas, join the points on each section to draw a wheel. This will show you how balanced your life is overall and the areas you really need to focus on and set goals for improvement.

Below is an example of what your completed wheel could look like.

After you have completed the wheel put a date on it and then review it at least every 6 months. Hopefully you will have made significant improvements in your key areas but may find that another area now requires your focus instead.

Get a printable copy of the wheel of Life from the resources page on my website http://www.drmary-livingonpurpose.com

Learn more tools for empowered living in the next post.

Prof Stan Wagon on his square wheel bike at Macalester College

Life Areas

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in every way and that your body may keep well, even as I know your soul keeps well and prospers (3 John 2)

We are in a series of posts exploring the truth about who you are.

The most recent posts dealt with the truth that you are a multi-dimensional being – body, soul and spirit.

This truth gives rise to your different life areas.

Your life is made up of several components.

These are basically:

Spiritual	-        your relationship with God
Social	-        your relationships with other people
Intellectual	-        your mind
Physical	-        your body
Emotional	-        your emotions

To be more practical, life areas are usually broken up further into life components that you can actually identify in your everyday life.

Partner/ Romance/Significant Other	Career
Family	Finances
Friends	Physical Environment/Home
Health & Well-being	Spiritual Well-being
Personal Growth/Learning	Fun/Recreation/Leisure
Community	Contribution

A basic understanding of the different life areas is fundamental to living on purpose.

Once you recognize your life areas, you gain an awareness of your life priorities. You can then start to set significant life goals and create a balanced, meaningful, and fulfilling life.

In the next post I will give you tools to help you along the road to understanding your life areas.

Breath of Life

And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul 

(Genesis 2:7).

We have now come to the most fundamental truth about who you are.

In previous posts we discussed the truth that you are body, soul and spirit.

Your body is the physical part of you. The ‘you’ that we can see.

Your soul is your mind, will and emotions. The ‘you’ that thinks, feels, and makes choices.

So what is your spirit?

As I was thinking about the best way to explain what your spirit is, an analogy came to mind. It may seem simplistic, but I think it starts to make the point.

The inflatable air guy.

Inflatable air guys are balloon figures used for advertising. They are basically huge balloons, shaped like people, that dance around when air is blown into them continuously through a fan. Inflatable air guy waves his arms in the air, bends from side to side, and generally wiggles all over the place. Inflatable air guy looks alive and active while the wind is blowing, but once the air stops, inflatable air guy stops too. Once the fan is cut off, inflatable air guy falls to the ground, lifeless.

Your spirit is your innermost being. Your core. The essence of your life.

Your spirit is the breath of life that God breathed into you to give you life.

Your spirit is the part of you that is eternal.

The fan is the source of the air that keeps inflatable air guy going.

God is the Source of the breath of life that keeps you going.

Without the fan, air guy is shapeless, lifeless, powerless.

Without God…

Learn more about developing an empowering belief system in the next post.

Are Twins Really Identical?

Kian and Remee Hodgson with their parents

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart (Jeremiah 1:5)

I’ve always found identical twins and the stories of twins fascinating.

Like Kian and Remee Hodgson born to the same mum, one minute apart – yet one is black and the other white.

Or 27-year-old Lebanese identical twins Hassan and Abbas O, whose DNA was found at the crime scene when $6.8 million worth of jewelry were snatched from the cases of Kaufhaus des Westens, a luxurious seven-story German department store. Despite the evidence linking them to the heist they could not be charged as the court ruling declared, "From the evidence we have, we can deduce that at least one of the brothers took part in the crime, but it has not been possible to determine which one." 

Then there is the case of James Arthur Springer and his identical twin, James Edward Lewis. The twin boys were separated at birth, adopted by different families. Unknown to each other, both families named their sons Jim. Both boys sought law-enforcement training and had abilities in mechanical drawing and carpentry. Each married women named Linda. They both had sons whom one named James Alan and the other named James Allan. The twin brothers also divorced their wives and married other women – both named Betty. And they both owned dogs which they named Toy. Jim Lewis and Jim Springer finally met in February 9, 1979 after 39 years of being separated.

Despite their similarities, the two "Jim"s had obvious differences too. They styled their hair differently, and one preferred to communicate verbally whilst the other was more fluent when writing.

No matter how alike twins may seem, they are of course fundamentally different.

Twins may look very alike physically but each is a unique personality.

The difference lies in their soul.

The soul is often described as your mind, will and emotions.

Your soul is where your personality resides.

Your soul is what gives rise to your character.

Your soul is the wellspring of your personality, passion, values and strengths.

Your soul contains your sub-conscious mind – your beliefs, attitudes, memories and feelings.

Your soul houses your conscious mind – your thinking, reasoning and imagining.

Your soul is the seat of your will – your ability to make choices.

The changes that are occurring in you as you learn from my blog posts are taking place in your soul.

Learn more about developing an empowering belief system in the next post.

James Arthur Springer and James Edward Lewis

There's got to be more to life...

Chasing Utopia, The New York Times

So I tell you, don’t worry about everyday life – whether you have enough food, drink, and clothes. Doesn't life consist of more than food and clothing? 

(Matthew 6:25)

In my previous post we started exploring the truth that you are a complex, multifaceted being.

You are body, soul and spirit.

These three dimensions intricately intertwine to make you, you.

These three dimensions blend together into what we call – life.

Your body is obviously the physical part of you – the moving, breathing, walking, talking, touching, seeing, eating, drinking, working, playing, sleeping part of you that enables you to interface with this physical world.

Your hands, your eyes, your mouth, your feet…

Some of you are already protesting that I've got it wrong. Moving, breathing, talking, touching, seeing etc. are not purely physical activities.

And you’re right.  

If eating was purely physical, then your toddler would finish his plate of vegetables as readily as a McDonald's Happy Meal.

If sleeping was purely physical, your teenager would fall into bed exhausted by 7:00 p.m. every night.

If movement was simply physical, people could never gain “superhuman”strength to save loved ones from danger.

You cannot separate body, soul, and spirit.

Your body cannot function in this world without your soul and your spirit.

Absence of your soul and your spirit from your body is what we call – death.

Living on purpose means living with the awareness that physical things are only part of the “whole” that makes up your life.

Learn more about developing an empowering belief system in the next post.

Living Holistically

May the God who gives us peace make you holy in every way and keep your whole being – spirit, soul and body – free from every fault at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (I Thessalonians 5:23)

He had it all. He was a world champion, unbeatable, at the top of his game. Then allegations of unfaithfulness and adultery emerged. Chaos rocked his home, a scandal reverberating in headlines at every street corner. He dropped from his exalted position into obscurity, never quite regaining his former glory.

She was a child star, rising to fame even before she was old enough to spell her own name. Her adult life disintegrated into drunken binges and drugs, depression, divorce and damaging relationships.

He was a super star, revered by fans all over the world. One night he jumped out of a window, falling to his death several stories below. There was no note left behind to pacify the question burning in everyone’s heart – Why?

This is the next vital key to understanding the truth about who you are.

You need to know the truth that you are a multi-faceted being.

You comprise a body, soul and spirit.

Your life consists of several life areas.

If you focus on any life area to the exclusion or detriment of the others, you will never truly be a success.

Every life area impinges on the others, and failure or deficiency in one area inevitably affects the others.

It is a tragedy when executives rise to the pinnacle of the corporate ladder only to discover that the victory is hollow. Every close relationship was sacrificed on the journey to the top and there is no one left to enjoy it with them.

It becomes meaningless to finally achieve financial security only to be unable to live the life of your dreams because you neglected your health and are now hindered by a debilitating disease.

Living on purpose means living holistically.

Living on purpose means living with balance.

Learn more about developing an empowering belief system in the next post.

A 7 Year Old Surgeon?

He cared for them with a true heart and led them with skillful hands (Psalm 78:72).

In 2000, video footage emerged from a remote village in India, making headlines around the world. A young girl was receiving surgery to separate her fingers, which had been badly burned and fused together in a tight fist. The surgeon was a 7 year old boy named Akrit Jaswal.

Akrit developed a passion for science and anatomy at an early age. At an age when most children are learning their ABCs, Akrit was reading Shakespeare and assembling a library of medical textbooks.

When the girl’s impoverished family, who could not afford a doctor, heard about his amazing abilities, they asked if he would operate on their daughter for free.

Akrit had no formal medical training and no experience of surgery, yet he managed to free the girl’s fingers and she was able to use her hand again. The surgery was a success.

Akrit went on to become the youngest student ever to attend an Indian university and is currently working toward bachelor's degrees in zoology, botany and chemistry.

Nancy Yi Fan moved to the United States from Beijing when she was 7 years old. She couldn’t speak a word of English. Determined, Nancy taught herself the language by reading lots of books.

When she was 11 years old, Nancy began writing her first fantasy novel, Swordbird. A year later, she emailed her manuscript to the CEO of Harper Collins. Her book was accepted for publication and flew to the top of the New York Times best-seller list. At age 13, Nancy became the youngest best-selling author in Harper Collins history. Her book is sold all over the world.

Nancy has subsequently released two follow up novels and is a freshman at Harvard University.

Akrit and Nancy tapped into the next key to knowing the truth about who you are: knowing your talents.

Your talents are your natural abilities – the things that come easily to you without being taught.

You have the greatest potential for growth in the area of your natural gifting.

Teaching and training in your area of talent simply hones your natural ability, taking it to higher levels. The 2 young people above didn't go to University to gain totally new skills – they went to University to develop their already identified abilities.

To tap into the power of living on purpose, you need to identify your God-given strengths. Then work on increasing your capacity.

A good way of identifying your talents is to pay attention to what other people say about you. Our friends and family can often see in us what we can’t see in ourselves. Think about the things you do naturally that others say "I wish I could do that _____ (fill in the blank), as well as you do" and you say "it’s no big deal, it was nothing, etc..."

In what areas are people always coming to ask you for help?

Read StrengthsFinder2.0 or Now, Discover Your Strengths. Each copy of the books contains a unique access code to allow you to take the Gallup online assessment.  Alternatively, you can buy an access code at www.strengthstest.com. 

There are also many free resources available on Web to help you discover your talent.

Learn more about developing an empowering belief system in the next post.

What Motivates You?

Don’t wear yourself out trying to get rich (Proverbs 23:4). 

So far in your quest to uncover the truth about who you are, you've looked at personality type and passion.

The next key to living authentically is getting in touch with your core values.

Your core values are what you judge to be important in life.

Values are not the same as morals. Values are not chosen. Your values are part of your intrinsic make up.

Your values are what drive you. Your values are what motivate you.

Your core values are who you really are.

When you are involved in activities that are in line with your values you feel most like yourself. You have a deep sense of well-being  You feel connected, excited, glowing – everything is effortless.

On the contrary, when you are engaged in activities and behaviour that are not in line with your values you feel disconnected, frustrated, bored, upset, angry, disturbed, obligated – you find yourself wishing for a better life. You’re just going through the motions, fulfilling your responsibilities, doing what you feel you ought to be doing, but there is no life in it for you.

For example, if you are someone who values harmony and connectedness, you may find it very difficult working in a fast-paced, highly competitive office environment, where everyone’s main focus is simply getting ahead.

If freedom to choose and risk-taking are among your core values, you will probably end up feeling extremely bored, frustrated and trapped in working environment that requires you to follow strict protocols and report to your supervisor before making any significant decision.

Identifying your values can be a difficult process and I’m reluctant to give you a list of options to help you get started. I've found that people tend to look at a list of values and choose the ones that they think are most socially desirable or acceptable, rather than looking into themselves and uncovering the values that are really there. The process of coaching helps draw out what your values actually are.

Use this list simply as a prompt.

Choose the values that are important to you and rank them in their order of importance.

Expand the list by adding other personal values that are important to you.

Contribution	Excellence	Humour	Honesty	Orderliness	Adventure
Integrity	Discipline	Compassion	Spirituality	Creativity	Independence
Perseverance	Authenticity	Elegance	Trust	Accuracy	Growth
Joy	Service	Humility	Recognition	Aesthetics	Collaboration
Self-Expression	Tradition	Community	Freedom	Personal Power	Performance

Learn more about developing empowering belief systems in the next post.

Passion

Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4)

In my previous post I talked about understanding your unique personality type as one of the keys to knowing the truth about who you are.

If you haven’t done so already, please take the free online personality test. It will give you valuable insight into what makes you tick.

The next key to unlocking the truth about who you are is passion.

What are you passionate about?

God has wired you in such a way that there are certain things you really care about.

What gets you emotionally involved?

Is there a topic that inevitably comes up in your conversations and has your friends saying, “There she goes again!” or “Don’t get him started on that!”

Passion is what births causes all over the world.

Passion is the difference maker between leading an ordinary life and a life that makes a significant impact in your community and beyond.

We've all heard about Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, and Martin Luther King, and we all know the difference that their passion made on the world.

But what about ordinary people like you and me?

What about Martha Payne, the 9 year old Scottish girl whose Neverseconds blog has raised over £115,000 and is helping feed almost 2,000 children every day for a year in Malawi.

Or William Kamkwamba the young man who didn’t let being forced to drop out of school keep him from teaching himself how to build a windmill out of scraps of rubbish that powered his family’s house and is now providing power and running water to his entire village.

Your passion is simply what you love to do most.

The questions below will help point you in the right direction.

1. What activities do you get lost in; you lose track of time while you’re doing them?
2. What do you find yourself constantly being drawn to?
3. What would you do even if you didn’t get paid for it?
4. What makes you feel most alive?
5. What absolutely has to be in your life for you to be fulfilled?
6. What can you not, not do?

Learn more about developing empowering belief systems in the next post.

Your Personality Type

Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! 

Your workmanship is marvellous - and how well I know it 

(Psalm 139:14, New Living Translation)

The first step to developing an empowering belief system is to know the truth about who you are.

You need to develop self awareness.

You are a complex, unique being. There is no one else on the face of the earth like you. Even identical twins that appear to be completely alike on the face of it have differences when you look more closely.

You are the way you are for a reason.

One way of developing self awareness is to understand the unique combination of qualities that come together to make you, you.

Think about your family, friends or colleagues at work.

Maybe you know someone who is full of good jokes and funny stories and is a pleasure to be around.

Or you have a friend you can always count on to help when you need to get something done.

Then there’s the person who is always wheeling and dealing, trying to make a business transaction out of everything and nothing.

There’s the networking king who always knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone else, and the drama queen who stumbles from one personal crisis to another, spending hours on the phone telling her friends all about it in between.

Understanding your unique personality type is one of the keys to understanding yourself.

For a long time I was not comfortable with whom I am.

Growing up, my teachers regularly used to tell me to “contribute more to class discussions”. But I learned better by quietly taking in the information and thinking it over on my own.

Among friends, I found it more interesting to observe and listen. But people constantly asked me why I was so quiet.

I was content with solitude and my favourite pastime was to spend the day immersed in a good book, but friends continually wondered why I was always reading.

Then I began to notice that I’m the one that people come to when they have pain in their life and they need advice, comfort and a listening ear.

I’m the one that people call when they have difficult choices to make and they need help making sense of all the possibilities.

I’m the one that my talkative friends enjoy spending time with because they need someone to patiently hear all the ideas bubbling up inside of them.

So what about you?

Take this free online personality test and start developing awareness of your own unique personality.

Learn more about developing empowering belief systems in the next post.